Addicted
by Stacey190191
Summary: John is marrying Mary and he and Sherlock have drifted apart. With their friendship in tatters and their trust severely frayed, can John ever make things right again and at what cost?
1. Ch 1 - Goodbye Sherlock

**DISCLAIMER:** Sadly I own nothing so please don't sue.

**SUMMARY: **John is marrying Mary and he and Sherlock have drifted apart. With their friendship in tatters and their trust severely frayed, can John ever make things right again and at what cost?

**A/N: **Story does not follow what happened in the TV Series so before anyone says anything...I am well aware that Sherlock and John made up pretty much straight away.

**TITLE:** Addicted

Addicted

Chapter 1 - Goodbye Sherlock

6 Months Ago

"You should talk to him." Mary stared intently at John's back, noting the way in which he tensed at her words.

"I have nothing to say to him." He didn't turn around, choosing instead to focus his attention on stirring the tea in the cup on the counter in front of him.

"Yes you do." She sighed. "There is a lot you have to say to him." John remained silent and Mary rolled her eyes. "He's your best friend...you need him."

Whirling around, John glared accusingly at her. "He didn't need me for the two years he was 'dead', he doesn't need me now and if he does then..." Sighing, defeat crept into his voice as he said, "Too much has happened."

"Give him a chance John, let him make it up to you." Mary shook her head sadly. "You'll regret it if you don't."

Staring at her, his eyes softened as he slowly nodded. "I'll...I'll go and see him after work tomorrow."

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"Why didn't you tell me?!" Glaring at the taller man, John tried to gain control over his anger.

"I couldn't." Sherlock stared helplessly at him.

"Two years, Sherlock! Twenty four long, painful months! Two years you were gone and I just had to carry on without you!" His voice was getting louder and Sherlock winced as John practically screeched the last sentence.

He could feel his own anger bubbling up inside him but did he best to hide it. "I was protecting you."

"Bullshit!" John shook his head and stepped closer to the younger man. "You could have given me a sign! You could have...should have...trusted me!"

Sherlock finally snapped. "I did trust you but I couldn't force you to keep my secrets! They were going to kill you! I wanted to give you the chance at having a normal life!"

"I didn't want normal!" John's breathing was erratic and he was fairly certain that if he didn't get it under control then he would start to hyperventilate but he was too angry to even care. "It wasn't your decision to make!"

"Yes it was! I refused to watch you die for me! It was always my decision!" His eyes narrowed as he stared down at the smaller man. "Besides, for someone that didn't want normal, you moved on pretty well." His voice was low and snide and he regretted the words as soon as he had said them.

Seeing red, John reached out and punched him hard in the face. His voice finally lowered to a snarl as he said, "You bastard. I had no choice but to 'move on'. You had died and didn't know what else to do."

"John, I..." Before he could continue, the smaller man interrupted him.

"Save it Sherlock, I'm not interested. The only reason I came here was because Mary told me to talk to you but I knew that it would be pointless." Shaking his head, he took a deep breath as he said, "We can't fix it this time. It's too late for apologies and I...I don't want to hear them."

"But John..."

"No!" Holding a hand up, he muttered, "Just no...not this time."

"I need you." Sherlock's voice sounded foreign to him, desperation creeping into the words.

"No you don't. You've already shown that you don't." Confusion flickered in Sherlock's eyes and John let out a humourless laugh. "Two years without me...two years without so much as a text proves that you don't need me." Heading for the door, he stopped and turned to face the detective. "That game is over Sherlock." Opening the door, he walked out of the flat and descended the stairs before leaving 221b for the last time.

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Present Day

Heading for the front door, John called out, "I'm off to work, see you later!"

Walking into the hall, Mary nodded and walked over to him. "Don't forget that we have a meeting with the Venue Manager at four o'clock."

"I won't. I'll finish early today." She nodded and he leant down to press a kiss to her lips. "I'll see you later."

"See you later." She watched as he left the house and sighed as her gaze rested on the wedding invites list which had been pinned to the notice board in the hallway. There was a name missing from it and she knew that John was more upset than he was willing to admit.

As John headed down the street, he tried to block out all thoughts of the wedding. It was starting to stress him out and he was sick of looking at sample invites and pictures of country houses. He was also sick of Mary pestering him to choose a best man when she knew that the only man who could ever live up to the title wasn't returning his phone calls. Closing his eyes, he took in a deep breath before exhaling and opening his eyes. Shaking his head free of past memories, he continued walking down the street and headed into the surgery to face the day ahead.

The day passed relatively slowly, as they often did lately, until John headed for the door at half past three. "Right, I'm off for the afternoon."

Alice, a new receptionist, looked up at him and smiled before saying, "Good luck with the venue people."

Rolling his eyes, he smiled back and mumbled, "Just between you and me, I'm starting to get sick of all this wedding planning stuff."

"I won't tell Mary you said that." She chuckled and looked back at her computer screen before frowning.

Picking up on the frown, he quietly asked, "What's wrong?"

"Leon hasn't picked up his Methadone prescription." Worry flickered across her face and John sighed. Leon had been doing so well getting clean lately and John hated the thought that the boy had had a relapse.

Looking at his watch, he allowed his conscience to make the decision. "I'll call on my way home, check he's okay." Alice smiled and nodded and John headed for the door.

He knew that Mary would kill him if he was late and promised himself that he would be quick but had a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach that the visit would take longer than planned. He hurried through the crowded streets and into the apartment block before climbing the stairs and knocking on the apartment door. Looking at his watch, he started to get nervous.

The door swung open and he came fact to face with Leon but gasped in shock when he saw the bloodstained shirt that the young man was wearing. "Leon, what happened?"

"It isn't mine. You have to help me Doctor Watson." The younger man pleaded and desperation clouded his eyes.

"What do you mean? Who's is it then?" He raised an eyebrow and waited.

"I was on my way to pick up my prescription and he stopped me in the street. He's been beaten up pretty bad...he's in a really bad way. I told him that I'd call an ambulance but he told me not to so I brought him back here to clean him up." He continued to ramble but ceased to make any sense.

"Okay, calm down. Let me in and I'll take a look at him." Leon moved out of the doorway and John walked into the small apartment, automatically heading for the bathroom. Pushing open the bathroom door, his heart nearly stopped and the whisper escaped before he could stop it. "No...Please God not him." Closing his eyes, John bit back sudden tears. Opening them again, he stared at the bloodied mess curled up on the floor and sighed. "Oh Sherlock...what did they do to you?"

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**A/N: **Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed it and want more then don't forget to press the review button.


	2. Ch 2 - Dirty Secrets

**DISCLAIMER:** Sadly I own nothing so please don't sue.

**SUMMARY: **John is marrying Mary and he and Sherlock have drifted apart. With their friendship in tatters and their trust severely frayed, can John ever make things right again and at what cost?

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone that reviewed Chapter 1, I hope chapter 2 lives up to expectations :)

**TITLE:** Addicted

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Addicted

Chapter 2 - Dirty Secrets

Previously

_The door swung open and he came fact to face with Leon but gasped in shock when he saw the bloodstained shirt that the young man was wearing. "Leon, what happened?"_

"_It isn't mine. You have to help me Doctor Watson." The younger man pleaded and desperation clouded his eyes._

"_What do you mean? Who's is it then?" He raised an eyebrow and waited._

"_I was on my way to pick up my prescription and he stopped me in the street. He's been beaten up pretty bad...he's in a really bad way. I told him that I'd call an ambulance but he told me not to so I brought him back here to clean him up." He continued to ramble but ceased to make any sense._

"_Okay, calm down. Let me in and I'll take a look at him." Leon moved out of the doorway and John walked into the small apartment, automatically heading for the bathroom. Pushing open the bathroom door, his heart nearly stopped and the whisper escaped before he could stop it. "No...Please God not him." Closing his eyes, John bit back sudden tears. Opening them again, he stared at the bloodied mess curled up on the floor and sighed. "Oh Sherlock...what did they do to you?"_

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Rushing over to the man lying on the floor, John dropped to his knees and quickly checked Sherlock's pulse point. "Sherlock." His voice was gentle as he leant in close to Sherlock's face. "Sherlock, can you hear me?"

A small, pained groan escaped Sherlock's throat as he weakly muttered, "John?"

"Yeah, it's me." A small, relieved smile slowly spread across his face. "Can you sit up?" When Sherlock said nothing, John sighed. "What about if I help you? Do you think you can sit up if I help you?"

"Why?" His voice was barely a whisper and John strained to hear him.

"Because I need to check you over and get you cleaned up." He managed to stop the eye roll just in time.

Leon appeared in the doorway and he nervously shuffled from one foot to another. "Can I do anything to help Doctor Watson?"

Tearing his eyes away from Sherlock, he looked back at Leon and nodded. "Yeah, do you have any cloths, towels and a first aid kit?"

The younger man nodded and set about finding the things which John had requested. John meanwhile, returned his attention back to Sherlock. "You ready to sit up?"

"Why?"

Trying to remain patient, John noted that Sherlock was still as much of a petulant child as he always had been. "I just told you, I need to check you over."

Sherlock attempted to shake his head. "Why help me?"

John remained silent for a while, pondering the question, before slowly saying, "Because I...I'm a doctor and that's what doctor's do." He missed the hurt which flickered across the taller man's face but managed to get him into a sitting position, Sherlock leaning against the bath with his legs sprawled out in front of him. When Leon handed him the flannels and towels, John smiled gratefully and asked him, "Can you umm, can you maybe wait in the living room while I get him cleaned up properly."

"I'll go and find him some pyjamas, I have lots of spares." John once again offered him a small smile and Leon left the room and headed for his bedroom. "Come on, we need to get you cleaned up. I can't check you over until we get rid of this blood." There was an unnerving amount smeared across his once grey t-shirt and even more dried on his sweatpants. It was only as John was removing the clothing that he realised what Sherlock was wearing. Looking more closely at the younger man, he noted how tired and ill he looked. Checking his eyes, he was shocked to find the pupils dilated and his eyes glassy and unfocused. Roughly pulling the hooded sweater off his thin frame, he turned his arms over and let out a low growl as he saw the needle marks in his left arm.

"John, I..." Sherlock tried his best to focus on the older man but the pain was blurring his vision and his head was spinning.

"Don't...just don't." Shelving his anger for later, John removed the rest of his clothes and managed to get him into the bathtub before turning on the taps and watching as the tub filled and water splashed around Sherlock's body. Grabbing a cloth, he started to wipe the dried, caked on blood from his pale skin, avoiding looking at the punctures on his arm. He then tipped some water over Sherlock's head and grabbed a bottle of shampoo from the side of the tub before pouring some onto his hands and lathering it up in Sherlock's greasy hair. Once he was happy that the locks were cleaner, he rinsed the shampoo out and finished cleaning the taller man off. Sherlock meanwhile, stared straight ahead at a spot on the wall and refused to meet John's eyes.

Once he had washed all of the blood off, he helped Sherlock out of the tub and wrapped him in a couple of towels before sitting him on the toilet seat lid and cleaning the bath out. He was in the middle of wiping the bath when he heard a small voice say, "I can explain."

"I don't want to hear your explanations Sherlock. I'm going to check out your wounds, clean and dress them and then leave." It pained him to say the words, he knew that Sherlock needed help and that he wouldn't seek it without John nudging him in the right direction but that part of his life was over. With a sigh, he realised that he had missed the appointment with the venue co-ordinators and that Mary would be incredibly pissed with him when he got home.

"Not good?" Sherlock's quiet, somewhat childlike, voice broke the silence again.

Looking back at the mass of towels, wet hair and ivory skin, John felt his anger dissipating slightly. "No Sherlock, definitely not good." Shuffling over to Sherlock, John knelt on the floor and prised the towel around his shoulders apart to examine his chest. He closed his eyes and fought to keep his anger under control when he saw the slash across Sherlock's lower abdomen. Cleaning the wound with some antiseptic, he set about wrapping a bandage around it. A full examination also found bruised ribs, a few smaller slashes across his back and a split lip but luckily there were no broken bones. John applied some antiseptic cream and Leon brought the fresh pair of pyjamas which John helped Sherlock into.

"Listen, John..." Sherlock trailed off and tried to find the words.

"Sherlock, I'm not here to make up. I came here to check that Leon was okay and he told me that he needed help with someone who'd been beaten up in an alleyway. I had no idea that it was you, I would have done the same for anyone." Closing his eyes, he sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. "Whatever has happened to you over the last six months is nothing to do with me. We've both moved on and I'm not looking to go back."

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"Where the bloody hell were you?!" Mary stared in disbelief at him, waiting for a grand explanation.

Not in the mood to argue, John simply told her, "I got caught up. I'm sorry."

"Caught up doing what?" Her anger was starting to disappear but she was still incredibly annoyed at him.

"Leon didn't turn into the surgery today." He stared straight at her and noted that worry flickered across her eyes. "I called in to check on him on my way to meet you and..." Trailing off, he sighed and rubbed a tired hand over his eyes.

"And what?" Her voice was slightly wobbly, she had got to know the younger man quite well and was genuinely concerned for him.

"When I got there...I had a nasty surprise." Her eyes widened impossibly and she say down before her legs buckled. "Don't worry, he's okay and he's still...clean."

"Then what...?" Mary was dreading the answer but suspected that it would help for John to unburden.

"He told me he was on his way over to the surgery when he found him in an alleyway. He'd been beaten up pretty badly, bruised ribs, burst lip, few slashes but nothing too major luckily."

Confusion replaced the nerves as she asked, "Who?"

John carried on as if he hadn't heard her. "He took him back to his apartment and tried to clean him up but there was so much blood and he was completely out of it. He's started using drugs again...the stupid bastard is throwing his life away."

An involuntary gasp escaped as she asked, "Leon?"

Shaking his head, John answered, "Worse."

"I don't understand..."

"Sherlock." He choked on the name and closed his eyes, fighting the emotions which were trying to overcome him. Opening his eyes again, he stared helplessly at Mary as he said, "It's all my fault."

Standing up, she walked over to his chair and sat on the arm, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "No it isn't. How could it be?"

"If I'd just forgiven him...if I'd stuck by him..." His voice cracked and he threw his arms around Mary's waist, burying his face in her shoulder.

Pulling her fingers through his hair, she shook her head and mumbled, "You weren't to know."

"I broke him." John tightened his arms and Mary winced slightly at the pressure.

Mary's voice was strong and unwavering as she told him, "Then fix him...you're the only one who knows how to."

Looking up, he shook his head. "I can't."

She shot him a challenging stare. "You've done it before."

"That doesn't mean I can I can do it again. I'm not even sure I'd want to." He shook his head again, this time staring at her defiantly.

"Yes you do and you know that you can." Smirking, she rolled her eyes. "Even heroes need a little help sometimes."

He raised an eyebrow and quietly asked, "You think I should go and see him?"

"I think you should listen to your heart instead of your head for once." Smiling, she pulled away and headed for the kitchen. "I'll make us some tea."

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A/N: You know the drill folks, let me know what you thought and I'll update as soon as I can.


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